3 Ways to Overcome Poison from the Past

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Resources Mentioned:

3 Big Ideas:

  1. You must have a common realistic plan for your marriage.
  2. Your overall personal well being does affect your marriage. What personal challenges have you brought into the marriage but have neglected to address?
  3. Embrace the process of learning your REAL spouse.Don’t be afraid of the disenchantment of your spouse not meeting yourexpectations Are you committed to learning and loving your REAL spouse?

Show Notes

  • [02:20] What’s the topic for today? How the past is poisoning the present.
  • [03:00] Don’t believe the myth that you and your spouse both agree on the expectations for your marriage. Instead remember that the more openly you work to express these expectations the more you can manage expectations.
  • [04:00] We are the plug for the certified SYMBIS Assessment.
  • [04:20] The expectations you bring into the marriage need to be expressed.
  • [05:35] What are the unspoken expectations that you have in your marriage? How are could they be negatively affecting or frustrating your marriage?
  • [06:40] It’s never to late to reevaluate the expectations that you have for your marriage with your spouse.
  • [06:50] What to do when you start to find out your spouse isn’t meeting your expectations?
    • [07:50] How are you going to manage your expectations? Frustration = unmet expectations.
  • [09:20] Your overall personal well being does affect your marriage. What personal challenges have you brought into the marriage but have neglected to address?
    • Overall well-being is a measure of emotional and spiritual health of the individuals within the marriage. A couple’s relationship can only be as healthy as the two individuals within a relationship. Trying to build high levels of intimacy with others before you’ve properly managed your own emotional spiritual health is dangerous. This is where many couples find themselves searching for a spouse to complete them.
    • Marriage mathematics is not 2 halves make a whole it’s two (whole) people coming together as one. 
      Marriage mathematics should be two whole people become one (1+1=2) not two halves becoming one( ½ + ½ = 1).
  • [09:15] Podcast Giveaway Winners!
    • You don’t want to put your spouse in a position the God was intended to feel. There’s a certain level of healing reserved for God to perform not your spouse.
    • [15:05] Mutual empathy for one another can be the number one tool to resolve or avoid most conflicts within marriage.
  • [15:50] Here we discuss one of the best ideas we have for handling conflict.
    • 1. Listen to their complaint.
    • 2. Respond with “What I hear you saying is___.Am I right?”
    • 3. If wrong go DIRECTLY back to step #1.
  • You don’t have to “win” or finish an argument on the spot. When needed ask for time to craft an appropriate response.
  • [18:20] Marriage is a process of leaving and cleaving.
    • Ephesians 5:31- “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
  • [20:20] Top Flight Security of the World Craig!
  • [24:00] In what areas of your life do you feel that you need personal healing? How can your spouse best support your healing?
  • [24:20] Embrace the process of learning your REAL spouse. Are you committed to learning and loving your REAL spouse?
  • [25:00] Two reason’s you don’t know your REAL spouse. (1) They put their “best foot forward” while dating. (2) There are parts of your spouse that were (properly) not shared with you while dating.
  • [24:30] How To Enter The Giveaway
  • [30:35] Disenchantment can lead to REAL intimacy.We want to be 100% known AND 100% loved.
  • [32:35] The God we serve FULLY knows us and FULLY loves us. He aint leaving you! Philippians 1:6
  • [35:21] LaShaude’s Marriage Confession

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